1. Think positive

There's someone out there for everyone and tonight's going to be your lucky night. You wouldn't start a game of football thinking you're going to loose, flirting is no different, it takes prep and a positive mental attitude. Cast aside any thoughts of rejection and imagine how good its going to feel to be talking to the ladies of your choice tonight, now hold that thought, that's going to be your motivation for the evening.

2. What's that smell?

Natural pheromones are all well and good but not to be relied upon alone as a pulling agent, soap and water and with a good antiperspirant will get you miles further in the flirting stakes. Nobody wants to talk to someone who smells like a goat. Smell is one of the five available senses and ladies can be wooed by your smell without even realising it, be careful though, more smell does not equal more attraction.

3. Look the part

If you want to pull, look like you've made an effort for your potential lady. Men are more physiologically orientated i.e. they are drawn to shape and vibrant colour e.g. lady in clingy red number, whereas women are more drawn by fashion. Hence don't think you are likely to pull your lady for the evening in a pair of tight jeans with your lunchbox on display (unless of course you have a body like the diet coke man) tight clothes on men do not have the same reciprocal attraction for women.

4. Who's the daddy?

How successful do you think James Bond would have been if he had walked like Mr Bean? Pull your shoulders back, chest out and hold your head high. Not only will you grow inches in height, you'll reinforce that available look that mother nature blesses courting males with, which is subliminally appealing to women.

5. Who is available?

Life would be easier if we wore neon signs indicating who is single, but lifes not that simple. Look for girls who are perched on bar stools scanning the room, not talking to each other too much, they're the best bets as they're out trapping. Girls in groups who occasionally look up and survey the scene or have a gander at the occasional bit of talent that walks by, will also probably be out on the pull, although its not high on the agenda for the evenings entertainment. Women who are more interested in the room than the people they're with are much more receptive to being approached.

6. When to approach?

Try the smile test. Start by making eye contact from a distance, if she looks back smile (friendly smile is appropriate here, not a tooth bearing grimace like the tom cat that got the viagra). Drop your eyes after holding her gaze for a count of four, then look back if shes still looking give her another smile. Smiles are infectious, if she smiles back there's a very good chance she's interested. If she's gazing blankly into the distance, she could be a glasses wearer, don't write her off too early, try moving to another position in the room and repeating the exercise. When you're both looking and exchanging smiles, its time for the first move.

7. Flatter flatter flatter

If it's the weekend and they're single chances are they've made an effort to look good, and they'll love it if you notice. Stay away from comments like "you don't get many of them to a pound" remarking on the size of a ladies assets will more than likely get you rebuffed, comment on how great that outfit looks on her. It takes two to have a conversation, don't dominate the chat, ask her about herself and pay attention to the answers. Don't put yourself down, confidence is sexy, even if you don't feel it act it. Fake it till you make it is a sure fire way of ensuring success in the flirting stakes. Don't be tempted to inundate her with jokes. Unless you're a natural, all that will happen is she'll laugh at the first couple then laugh politely until she can find an excuse to move on. Stick to compliments and small talk.

8. Watch for the signals

Okay so now your talking. Does she like me? How is her body positioned to yours, is it facing you, or away (facing is what you're going for) is she mirroring your movements, when one person copys another persons movements, its called mirroring and is a sure sign that this person likes you. If she's flicking her hair, touching her face or playing with her glass, these are all good signs Are you giving off the right signals, is your body language giving her the right signs?, is that posture still movie star like? If not imagine her naked in front of you, that beer belly will immediately be sucked in and your chest out before you know it. Grrr tiger.

9. The touch

Its generally accepted that the first person to touch is the one who has given away the 'I like you signal'. I'm not talking about groping here. A gentle brush of the hand, arm or leg, or taking someone's hand as you cross a road all counts. Ladies often don't want to appear easy, so they'll put their limbs where you can touch them easily, accidentally or otherwise. The touch is important as it can have a dramatic effect on the way you feel about someone.

10. What's next?

It's a personal preference whether you feel its right to kiss someone you've just met. If you haven't managed to effect the touch, don't even think about going for the kiss. Kissing is an intimate thing and is unlikely to be the first contact you have with each other unless your both mortal drunk, in which case steps 1-9 will be irrelevant too. Background noise levels permitting, drop your voice and see if she moves closer to listen to you. Lean closer into her face and talk gently into her ear. Do not accidentally spit on her, drool is not an attractive feature. Make sure you're minty fresh so your breath doesn't smell like Ghandi's flip flop. Pull back and make eye contact, then move back into her ear for some more sweet nothings. Brush your face against her cheek (gently though, you don't want to give her razor burn - not yet anyway!) if she doesn't pull back, the coast is set up for your first kiss. Flatter flatter flatter, "your hair smells irresistible to me", "that perfume is amazing on you", "your hair is so soft against my face". Corney and clichéd? Yes, but it works!

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1. Think positive

Big things grow from small acorns, don't go out with unrealistic ideal about the man you want to meet. Have an open mind, we'd all love to meet a brad pitt look-alike with a wallet to match. Sadly if he's not already taken by a movie star girlfriend, you'll never see him because he'll spend all hours making his fortune, the rest of the time down the gym keeping the body beautiful and what little time left, hogging the bathroom to keep up his beauty regime. Imagine yourself with a guy who you're attracted to, that entertains you and makes you feel good about yourself. That's what you're planning to attract tonight.

2. You smell lovely

Is what you want to hear when he's whispering in your ear. Less is more, don't overpower him and try not have deodorants clashing with perfume and hairspray. Pick a fragrance that's distinctive says something about you. When he smells it again you want him to think of you, not every woman he's met that evening.

3. Fashion victim?

Your wasting your time trying to impress men with fashion statements. Every wondered why you wear the best gear but get overlooked by your friend that always wears the same tart top every weekend? Its because men are physiologically attracted. They look at shape and vibrant colour. Knowing that it cost hundreds of pounds and is the latest creation wont do it for them. Save your hard earned sponds and wear something your comfortable in but flatters your figure. There's nothing less attractive than someone nervously pulling their clothes back into position all night. Wear a talking point, I used to have a hand bag with a little whistle on it, men were always coming over asking what the whistle was for, the answer depended on how much more chat I wanted with the guy. Heels are a must if you want to give your legs and bum a better shape, but be careful not to lean forward or you'll look more like big bird than Beyonce.

4. Star quality

Your feeling confident, your looking and smelling great, now you've got to be great, practise a Liz Hurley strut. You don't want to move like the lady off acorn antiques, you've got lots to show off about don't hide your light under a handbag. Back straight, chest out, head up and off you swagger. If you feel yourself having a nervous moment through out the night, just step back into your star composure and feel that confidence oozing out.

5. Catch their eye

There's nothing to stop you making the first move, just look for the same signs for the guys. Another tell tale is when men put their thumbs in their pockets with their fingers pointing down, its like a neon welcome sign to their flies. Men tend to strut without realising it when they're single, giving out a subliminal message that they're available.If you want them to come to you, in order to catch their attention you do quite literally have to catch their eye. Look for men scanning the room and hold eye contact with the person you like the look of for a little longer than usual. Hold their gaze, drop your eyes then look back, if they're still looking give them a friendly smile. If they smile back you're well on the way.

6. Actions speak louder than words

Did you know that playing with your hair releases strong pheromones? not only does a little preen look sexy it gives off sex hormones that we cant consciously smell. Have a little tease from across the room, touch your face or your collar bone, if your feeling really risqué run a finger along the neckline of your top. It draws attention to areas that the chaps subconsciously want to touch, its like your fingers are reading their minds. If you're a little coy, use your glass as the tease, cover your face with it slightly so your expression is masked, then move it away to reveal a smile. He's probably causing a stampede to get across the room at you by now.

7. Hang on his every word

Men love to be the centre of attention just as much as women. Listen to what he has to say, look him in the eye, if your looking around the room it will give him the impression you're not interested in him. Don't bore him into the bottom of his glass with endless stories of your ex. Filling yourself full of negative thoughts about your past will dent your confidence and will show in your body language. Confidence is attractive so stay positive. Every man wants to feel that he's your first fella, so reminding him that there was a string of failures before him will not set the scene well. If you want counselling go to your girlfriends or your mum, the weekends are for flirting and making yourself and your man feel good about each other. Don't draw attention to your weaknesses, the size of your bum is irrelevant, it didn't put him off coming over, so don't mention it. Learn to take a compliment well

8. He's not for you

As important as being able to flirt is being able to say no thanks. Women who turn into super bitches to brush off men, do nothing for the rest of the female population trying to attract reluctant males who've suffered at their hands. Use a block, put your head in your handbag or use a menu off a bar to break eye contact, if you don't have anything physical to hand to make a block simply turn away. He'll soon get the message when you're not looking at him and angled in a different direction. Master the art of the nice put down. " I'm not convinced you're my type, you'll have to be more interesting than this to get any further" said with arms crossed but nicely, will let him know where he stands and is more forgiving than "get lost loser".

9. The touch

Whose going to be the first to make a move? If your uncomfortable touching him, then let him touch you. Lean your body towards him, so your close enough to touch, but you haven't gone in and invaded his personal space. If his body language is mirroring yours, he'll have leaned in too. Change the tonality in your voice and see if his changes, if it does then he's' probably already managed a discrete touch. If not, he's gagging to but cant pluck up the courage. Put your arms (or legs if your sitting) where he can 'accidentally' brush against them. If he's still giving off all the right signals but hasn't touched, just lean over and touch him on the arm or leg. If you have long hair, apply a liberal application of lipgloss then toss your hair so some sticks to it, he'll not be able to resist moving it off your face and bingo you have one of the most intimate touches.

10. Now what?

So you've tossed your hair around, have played around with the tease and effected the touch, you are now mirroring each others moves and tonality naturally. Using the lethal threesome : lean, eye contact and smile you can go for the outcome your looking for, be it a proper date or a good night kiss.

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If you don't perfect your flirting skills in your teens then you're going to make life much more difficult for yourself in your twenties and beyond. The good news is that the younger you start the easier it is.
There is all sorts of bad advice for teenagers when it comes to
forming relationships with the opposite sex. 'Be popular' , 'Hang out with the in crowd', 'wear the right brand of clothes', 'act sexy' and basically be a clone.

Learning to flirt is mastering a combination of body language, confidence, attitude and appearance and getting to grips with your own flirting style.

The fastest way to learn to flirt is to use the same skills (obviously stopping short of the kissing thing) on people you don't want to pull. Flirting is simply a way of letting someone know we like them and interacting with them in a way that's friendly and makes them feel good about themselves and us good about ourselves in return. Your alternative is to down a bottle of cider and drunkenly letch over some poor unsuspecting soul (who lets face it, you probably wouldn't fancy as much if you weren't wearing bear goggles). This does nothing for your confidence or street cred and invariable leads to an evening in the gutter or a trip to the STI clinic. Booze gives you bad breath, bad skin and is much more expensive than the low cal, good old fashioned, free flirting option.

Top tips for everyday flirting

1. Look and smell great

Soap and water is not optional. If you want to be taken seriously and drive their senses wild then invest in some decent scent.

2. Eye contact

If you're looking at the floor you're missing opportunities left right and centre. Get used to looking everyone in the eye that you meet and speak to. It gives the impression that you're confident and interested in what the other person has to say.

3. Smile

There's nothing as disarming or infectious as a smile. Smiling lets the other person know you like them and as that's the key objective in flirting you're half way there.

4. Get the listening habit

It's fine to act congenitally deaf when you're with your parents and teachers, but not listening to someone you're trying to impress is a big turn off for them. Try to listen more than you talk. They'll think you're hanging off their every word and like you all the more for it.

5. Take risks

Unless your proposed date is a mind reader they wont know that you fancy them. Don't worry about looking stupid for taking an interest in them, it's much less foolish than following them round for weeks without them having the slightest inkling that you're interested.

For more of my flirting tips visit the Impulse 'Tease' website www.actonimpulse.com